Forgive and forget? I think not!

I believe in the “forgive and forget” concept and I love the injustices that this can actually be applied to.  It’s a little mantra that is easy to remember, and offers an abundance of  freedom when this state of healing can be achieved.  But, what about the wrongs that rock you to your core, the ones that rob you of your innocence, permanently disable your ability to trust anyone 100% and wreak havoc on every relationship that follows?

When I was young, I felt like I lived a double life.  I lived with my dad and when I was with him, life was normal, grounded and loving.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was heaven compared to being at my moms.  I thank God everyday that I was blessed enough to spend most of my time in this environment.  Over the years, while visiting my mom, I witnessed and experienced things that no child should ever have to endure and it affects me to this day, much to my dismay.  I watched helplessly as my mom was raped right in front of me.  I remember my first panic attack…   I tried to use the telephone to call for help, but the cord had been ripped from it, and my hands were shaking so bad, I couldn’t get it back in.  I had to tell my mom that I couldn’t call for help as tears streamed down my face.  I believe this was the beginning of my mom’s downward spiral into drugs and her vicious cycle of losers that emotionally and physically abused all of us.  I was also sexually abused by these men or their friends/family on numerous occasions.  I watched as these men tore the people I loved down, day by day, year after year.  I was lucky though, I got to escape to my dad’s.  My mom and my brothers had nowhere to escape too.  My mom wasn’t strong enough to get herself out of these situations and stay out.  She had isolated herself from her friends and family and hung her self-worth on the words and actions of these men.  She had no support system, no self-esteem, and seemingly nowhere to go that offered a better solution or the help she needed to get past this.  I it was my responsibility to fight their fights whenever I was around.  I stuck up for them, I fought back, I got in the way and I was hated.  I forgave and I forgot. 

I got as far away from there as I could and swore that I would never allow anything like this happen to me or my kids.  I had seen both worlds, and I knew which one I wanted for myself and my family.  I thought I knew how to achieve this.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Several years later I found myself in almost the exact same place my mom was in all of those years.  A lot of the details were different, but from a high level overview, it was the same.  How did this happen?  I was so strong, so stubborn and so determined to not have “that” life!  In my desire to get as far away from my painful past as possible, I ended up isolating myself from my family, my support system and everything that was good for me.  At first it seemed like a fair trade, but before I knew it I had very low self esteem, I was hanging my self-worth on the opinion of a man and my life was a disaster.  I endured emotional and physical abuse and had sunken so low that I couldn’t see the forest through the trees.  Having a family was so important to me that I wanted to work it out, at all costs.  Eventually I woke up, took a stand and changed my life.  It wasn’t without sacrifice though (more about that later).

That was almost 10 years ago.  I have spent the last 10 years healing.  Learning who I truly am and who I want to be.  Learning to love myself completely and rebuilding my life according to these new insights.  I will be forever changed and affected by the events that have happened in my past, but I will never again let myself be a victim.  In order to ensure this to be true, I have forgiven everyone, including myself.  But I will never forget!  I will never forget the way I felt.  I will never forget what I was robbed of.  I will never forget the sacrifices that had to be made in order to make things right.  I will never forget the lessons I had to learn the hardest ways. 

I have forgiven, but I will never forget.  

It's worth it!

I have learned that anything worth having requires hard work, dedication and sacrifice.  I believe that the correct ‘path’ is usually the one the hardest one.  In all facets of life we are faced with choices and those choices play a part in the current status of our lives.  If we are unhappy, unhealthy or dissatisfied; we have the responsibility and the power within ourselves to change it.  We were never promised that it would be easy, just that it would be worth it.    

Source: Pinterest

Moving Mountains

When I read this I knew I just had to share, sure it's a story about making jewelry,

but it's also a story how one woman took a risk, invested the little she had

 and moved mountains!!  Read the story here

Be True to You

                                  

"Remaining true to one's self is one of the most fundamental life lessons that we must learn.

 We must first know ourselves, our values, our priorities and our boundaries; 

and love ourselves unconditionally. 

Only then will we be able to remain true to ourselves at all times." 

~ Tabatha Payne 

12 Steps to Self Empowerment

Many people today are facing a similar challenge. There is a niggling feeling within; a voice, a knowing that they can no longer go on living their life without authenticity.   Their soul is awakening to their true purpose, their true form.  There is an understanding that moving on to their true path is no longer a whim or a daydream but a necessity for their own growth, evolution and existence here on earth. 

It is at this stage that you can make one of two choices:  continue existing or start living.

Self Empowerment & Life Transition Specialist, Coach Bobbi takes you on a journey towards living a life of self discovery, self love, authenticity, focus, strength and purpose.  Through her own insightful journey from nowhere to now here,                       Bobbi shares the steps she took to self empowerment.

Featuring Empowerment Exercises including access to mp3 downloads, the 12 Steps to Self Empowerment will open your heart and mind to a new way of being that is rightfully yours.

You may order this book here.  Please use coupon code: INSPIREDBYKARMA to receive a discount!  

Don't Quit Poem Movie

Don't Quit Poem Movie:

If I had to guess, I would bet you are facing your fair share of challenges and obstacles in your life... I know I am. When things go wrong, and they sometimes will... how will you choose to respond? That is what this short movie is all about. Be inspired by these words of wisdom if you are thinking of quitting.  

Sometimes On the Way to A Dream...

... You get lost and find a better one!!   I have very high expectations of what I want out of life, and the type of person I want to be.  One of those expectations is to be responsible and provide a healthy environment and good life for my boys.  As a single mom this can be difficult at times. I am a very independent person and pride myself on being self reliant, even if that means we don't have the latest, greatest anything.  With the weight of the world seemingly on our shoulders, we tend to take it all in stride and not see what it doing to us, emotionally and physically.  In trying to provide a good life and set a good example for my boys, a lot of things took the back burner, my health, having fun with the boys, making the "right" time for them and taking time to go visit family...   I had spent the last two years with migraines, they started out one or two a month and by the time they stopped, they were almost daily.  Life was miserable for me and my boys...  I had been working for the same company for 8 years at that time, I loved my job, and it provided me with resources and insight that played into my lifelong goal.  It was something that I was good at and proud of, and provided me a sense of security and family (I have no family in Tennessee), then things took a turn for the worse and it rocked my world.  Just over a year ago, I lost my job....  and watched as everything I had worked so hard to keep or earn slipped from my grasp...  I lost my apartment...  then my car... and my independence.  Almost overnight, everything changed, and I was going to have to become dependent on someone for something.  This scared the hell out of me; I was ashamed and hit rock bottom...   Well, there must have been a spring on the bottom, because I wasn't down for long...  within a few months the migraines were gone, I was getting healthier and HAPPIER than I had been in years...  I was perplexed.  How could this be?  How could I not "have a pot to piss in or window to through it out of" and not only be ok, but be even better?  I have had a year to think about this and have come to the conclusion that I was not remaining true to myself, my values and my priorities.  I got in my own way, and stayed there for a long time, with the disillusioned thinking that I was doing the right thing for me and my boys.  I was completely wrong.  A year later, I work from home running my own jewelry business.  Sure, right now it doesn't pay anything close to what I was making in corporate America, and I am still dependent on some awesome friends...  but I get to spend time with my boys and don't have to choose between them and work...  or being tired from work.  I have learned how to do something I have never even considered before; I find new challenges everyday and amaze myself when I conquer them.  I have learned so much more about myself in this last year, that I never would have learned any other way.  I am good and my boys are great and that's the most important thing to me.  It took losing everything to have everything.  So... on the way to my dream, I got lost... but I found a better one.